I’d been looking at my situation as one of dire straits because it was uncomfortable and amazingly challenging. There were times when I thought walking away from it all would afford me, at the very least, a bit of R&R.
Truth be told…despite the dreadfulness of it all, I am simply not a quitter. I’m tenacious and once I sink my teeth into and idea I’m not easily dissuaded. I have to live with my choices and that gives me more courage; puts for bite into my fight. It’s not that I don’t know how to let go, I simply choose not to be intimidated into letting go. And when I do walk away, it’s because I have calculated the value of doing so.
That said; Satan took it upon himself to challenge my stance on this issue and to present me with the most difficult question I’d ever had to ask myself…
“Should I continue to fight for my home?”
Of course, Satan was there at every turn with opposing views and indecision. But it was I - Me, who had to make the choice and to not allow emotion or interference sway my judgment. People and their opinions often came into play. But again, I was the one living this nightmare and I knew that it was not an accident that Jehovah, in all His infinite wisdom, had allowed me to come to this place in my life. So, being the adventurer that I am, I sought to find out what I was that I was positioned to learn and how it might help others facing a similar plight.
It didn’t take long for me to realize that our darkest days are the ones that prepare use to rejoice in the brightest light - like the storms that cause us to appreciate the calm after it has pasted.
I’m still in the midst of this storm. But I’m in a stronger boat now. A boat made of appreciation. From the portholes of this vessel I see my situation and life in general in a new light. One of brilliance and Glory, because I’m so grateful to be so Blessed. It’s not about what happens to me or even how I fare as a result of the outcome. It’s all about what I’ve been fortunate to learn and how my experience might inform and encourage someone else who has found themselves in a similar predicament.
I believe that all will turn out rosy and rewarding. But right here - right now, all is well with my soul. I know unequivocally and unquestionably that this experience, like all others, is shaping me and my life to be more efficient, effective and infectious when I tell people about the Glory of Christ and what He has done in my life.
I have human eyes to see and appreciate all the beauty that is everywhere around and about me on this lovely, green earth. But I also have spirit eyes to see that which is less visible, obscured by the clouds of trials and tribulations. It’s through these spirit eyes that I view my situations and place merit on all the lessons learned by going through them. The pain and heartaches are not in vain and I strive to share these lessons with any and all who would take something away with them and put it to good use.
I’m sharing this with you because I know that you too may be going through a painful time that has caused you to question…
“What did I do to deserve this?”
“Where is God now?”
Or any of the other gazillion retorts that we spout when we hurt.
I am not here to make light of my situation, because it is a mess. I simply want to convey that there is nothing that I can not handle because I know that I not in this by myself and I and not doing all this for myself. There’s a bigger picture. I see it far more clearly now…with my new eyes…SMILE*